"With McDonald's Corp. stock taking so many bad hits lately, the company has taken to drastic measures in hopes of alleviating the pressures of health-conscious consumers who are steadily veering away from their sub-standard menu offerings.

In McD's latest attempt to revitalize the ailing restaurant chain, executive chefs at McDonald's Corporate have retained the services of the one man who might be able to bring new life to their next hamburger product. Well, at the very least, this single man will be able to beat several hamburglars senseless in the process. He is Mike Tyson.

Many undercover agents have given their very lives to obtain this exclusive photograph of the mad science occurring behind McDonald's doors at their Food Science Development Center. The photograph below reveals the very core of the McDonald's empire, Ronald McDonald, (wearing a standard-issue Insane Clown Scientist yellow lab coat) looking on as former heavyweight champion "Iron" Mike Tyson erects what he acknowledges as the future of the McDonald's Corporation. Massive golden arches made entirely of McDonald meat.

Behold the power of Food Science! Introducing McDonald's new Beefcake Arches! As Eric Cartman would proclaim... "Beefcake! ... beefcake!" Who better to create arches made of McD beef patties than the infamous "Iron" Mike Tyson. And hey, if you don't like how this new product tastes? Well, let's just say I hope you don't meet up with Iron Mike in a dark alley with his insane clown posse accomplice, Ronald."

(* for those who believe anything they read, this post is merely poking a bit of fun at good ol' mega-goliath corporation known as McDonald's. They are not really releasing a Beefcake Arches menu product. Well, at least not yet. Faces of the innocent have been blurred to protect their identity, because I can understand why no one would want to be in that photograph in the first place.)